Too little
Convenient reassurance
“Of course; tell me everything.”
The source acts on a promise whose limits were concealed.
Discretion
Protect a confidence while being clear about promises you cannot make.
Careful judgment about what is appropriate to disclose.
Discretion judges what is appropriate to disclose, to whom, and for what purpose. In reporting, it starts before a confidence is received. A person needs to understand the terms being offered; a reassuring phrase must not silently imply protection the writer cannot provide. Once terms are agreed, the information remains entrusted rather than becoming the writer’s personal property.
Discretion gives confidences carried on understood terms
Before the interview begins, the source says, “You can promise no one will ever know, can’t you?” Your pencil is poised like an athlete on the starting line. You set it down and keep the notebook closed while you explain what you can and cannot promise. The conversation may become shorter. It will at least begin on terms the other person can choose.
Finding the balance in Discretion
A prospective source assumes an absolute promise that you cannot responsibly make.
A fitting response
Clear terms
“Let us agree what I can offer before you share this.”
The source can decide whether to proceed with an intelligible account of the limits.
Pursued too far
Secrecy without judgment
“Nothing entrusted may ever be discussed under any circumstances.”
A blanket slogan evades the actual agreement, purpose, and possible need for appropriate advice.
Later, a colleague asks for the source’s name to make the account more vivid. You return to the agreed terms and the actual reporting need before sharing anything. If new circumstances test those terms, discuss the conflict with appropriate editorial support and, where suitable, the source; do not quietly enlarge the promise or treat it as disposable.
What Discretion makes possible
People can make more informed choices about what they share. Bounded promises also give the reporter something definite to honor and a clear point at which to seek editorial or specialist help.
Discretion in ordinary life
A friend’s account
Before repeating a personal story, clarify whether it was meant for others and which details the friend is comfortable sharing.
A volunteer newsletter
Agree how a contributor wishes to be credited before circulating a personal account.
Nearby virtues, different work
Candor
Candor states the limits plainly; Discretion governs the appropriate handling of what is entrusted.
Integrity
Integrity helps you honor considered commitments when a more revealing story would be attractive.
Discretion and its counterfeits
The soothing absolute
A promise of unlimited secrecy to secure cooperation is a soothing counterfeit of Discretion. Genuine discretion makes its limits understandable before the person relies on them.
Silence for reputation
Silence that hides misconduct to protect an institution counterfeits Discretion. Appropriate handling of a confidence requires a defensible purpose, not automatic loyalty to appearances.
How to cultivate Discretion
Clarify what “private” means in the particular conversation.
Avoid receiving a confidence on terms you already know you cannot honor.
If the terms become uncertain, pause further sharing and seek the appropriate advice.
Try it today
Before repeating an ordinary personal anecdote supplied by someone else, ask whether it is theirs to share and whether they intended you to pass it on. If permission is unclear, choose another anecdote.
Questions worth returning to
- What does the other person reasonably believe I have promised?
- Have I confused useful restraint with avoiding an uncomfortable explanation?
Keep the practice proportionate
Do not promise absolute source protection or treat this page as legal or professional confidentiality guidance. Serious harm, obligations, and newsroom agreements need context-specific support.
Quotations and further reading
Seven selections to return to through the week. Follow a source link to read the surrounding passage.
There stood a little picture of his wife on the table where the interview took place, and after the reporter had left, it was noticed that this picture was missing.
Sinclair says he had refused a request for his wife’s photograph and describes its later publication. His account of that violated limit makes the distinction between access to a room and permission to use its contents concrete.
To the real question, How does it feel to be a problem? I answer seldom a word.
W. E. B. Du Bois · The Souls of Black Folk · Chapter I, Of Our Spiritual Strivings
Du Bois describes being approached as a racial problem rather than as a person. His withheld answer reminds the interviewer that curiosity does not create an entitlement to another person's experience.
His quiescence was quite admirable; his discretion certainly more than human.
The praise is ironic: Towers shields his connection to the paper while Bold asks him to address an injustice. It exposes the counterfeit in which discretion protects power from an answer rather than protecting a source's legitimate confidence.
Neither they nor any other human being can possibly have a right to expect us, not merely to abstain from the open expression of dissents, but positively to profess unreal and feigned assents.
John Morley · On Compromise · Chapter IV
The pronoun refers to parents whose religious convictions differ from their children's. Morley distinguishes chosen silence from false assurance; a reporter can limit disclosure without promising protections they cannot provide.
“If it was to be a secret,” said Jane, “say not another word on the subject. You may depend upon my seeking no further.”
Jane Bennet, fictional character · Jane Austen · Pride and Prejudice · Chapter LI
Jane stops Lydia after an accidental disclosure about Darcy's part in the wedding. The act is restraint in response to a stated confidence, without presenting private family secrecy as a universal rule for public-interest reporting.
“I will make no promise of the kind.”
Elizabeth Bennet, fictional character · Jane Austen · Pride and Prejudice · Chapter LVI
Elizabeth refuses Lady Catherine's demand that she promise never to marry Darcy. The short refusal is useful beside the reporter's need to decline an assurance that pressure or eagerness might otherwise extract.
Deep down in his heart perhaps—but who knows what may be deep down in his heart?
Jane Addams · Democracy and Social Ethics · Chapter II, Charitable Effort
While describing a visitor's interpretation of an unemployed man, Addams interrupts a claim about his inner motives. The hesitation checks the presumption that access to someone's household grants knowledge of their private mind.
Continue through the catalog
Practice this collection
Choose this approved collection as an optional workbook program, or select individual virtues in My Virtues.